“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels … Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Prov. 31:10,28-30).
Before Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi created the Statue of Liberty, he tried to envision ideals like liberty, nobility, and strength. An expert told him to reference “figures of thought which are grand in themselves.” So, who did he ultimately model the majestic symbol upon? His mother.
Oscar Wilde said, “To look at a thing is quite different from seeing a thing, and one does not see anything until one sees its beauty.” Do we see the beauty of a God-fearing woman (1 Pet. 3:3-4,1 Tim. 2:9)?
Value Her
See the worth of women like this (Prov. 31:10-27).
“Who can find” such a woman, the Scripture asks. Unlike most other Biblical heroes, we don’t read of her flaws because it’s not about a particular person. But the vivid, concrete details tell you it’s not a pie-in-the-sky fantasy either. She’s rare, but she’s not imaginary. Proverbs 31 describes a woman from another time and place, but you recognize her because God has blessed us with women like this. Think of her as a portrait — an ideal to inspire and celebrate — rather than a measuring stick to inspect women by.
This poem celebrates a different kind of hero: a champion of virtue, a tireless worker to bless others. She keeps a good world in order and fruitfulness.
What our society seems to treasure in women is physical beauty, fashion, and sensuality — maybe even brashness that fights for her ambitions and won’t take a backseat to anyone. But this poem celebrates another kind of hero: a champion of virtue, a tireless worker to bless others. She keeps a good world in order and fruitfulness. The word translated “excellent” to open the poem (Prov. 10:10) usually describes a “valiant” warrior. Bruce Waltke notes that the Hebrew text has words like “valor,” “spoils,” and “strength,” which picture her “as a spiritual heir of Israel’s ancient heroes” and “a champion for those around her by her diligent application of wisdom” (The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15-31, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament).
Sometimes, we use the phrase “from A to Z” to describe the total gamut.
King Lemuel (or his mother) arranged the poem as an acrostic, going through the Hebrew alphabet from beginning to end to start each line. It gives a sense of a complete picture. This woman tries to do right in all the areas of her life.
Hear Her
Learn from the works and words of women like this (Prov. 31:1-9,26; 9:1-12).
In the first half of Proverbs 31, Lemuel’s mother teaches him to be a king (Prov. 31:1-9). In the second half, she shows the kind of woman he should seek (Prov. 31:10-31). He must listen to his wise mother. But he also needs to find a wise, godly partner.
Watch her example, but then listen up.
First, the excellent woman opens her hand (Prov. 31:20), then she opens her mouth (Prov. 31:26). Watch her example, but then listen up. You’ll hear “wisdom and the teaching of kindness … on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26). The parallels to lady wisdom (Prov. 9:1-12) are unmistakable. She is an example of skillful living that blesses all around her.
Praise Her
Regularly express honor to women like this (Prov. 31:28-31).
The final verses use “praise” three times (Prov. 31:28-31). Her works speak volumes about her. Those deeds praise her, even if no one else did. Yet the main application of the chapter is for others to show her the honor she deserves. Traditionally, Jewish husbands would publicly recite this chapter to their wives at the beginning of the Sabbath, a worthwhile example to us. Let’s lift these ladies up!
Her works speak volumes about her. Those deeds praise her, even if no one else did. Yet the main application of the chapter is for others to show her the honor she deserves.
To close, here are seven ways husbands can apply this passage and honor their wives:
Talk about her to other people. Praise her before the community and people she respects — “praise her in the gates“.
- Trust her. Clear her path, empower her, and be her partner as she serves the world.
- Support her as she seeks security for her family’s future.
- See her well, not just for her physical beauty and charisma, but for her heart and deeds.
- Treasure the fear of God within her and nurture it.
- Reciprocate. As she brings gifts from afar, bring gifts to her. As she brings honor to you, honor her. As she provides well for her family, provide well for her.
- Laugh with her at life and its past, present, and especially future challenges.
Discussion Questions
• Why is it so important that the people in this woman’s life acknowledge and honor her?
• What do you admire most about the woman of Proverbs 31?
• What do you think of the idea that this woman is presented with the language of a war hero?
• What women in your life remind you of this woman? How can you give them the praise they deserve this week?