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Snagged by Anger

Ryan Joy

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June 18, 2023

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The Big Idea

Hurry up and wait. We need to slow down in the moment so we don’t overreact in anger, but we might also need to speed up our pace of resolution, pursuing reconciliation before anger turns to resentment.

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“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Eph. 4:26-27).

Anger Is Natural

We might expect Paul to say, “Never be angry,” but instead, we read, “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26). That’s because anger is a natural, God-given emotion. Like uninvited guests, we can’t choose when our emotions show up, but we can choose how we deal with them. Aristotle said, “Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” What might such perfect anger look like?

Righteous anger can propel righteous action, like healing, speaking up for good, confronting the issue behind your anger, or finally forgiving someone.

Perfect Human Anger

Where did we get the idea that emotionless tranquility is godliness? When we read the gospels, we don’t find a stoic Jesus. One Sabbath, Jesus saw a man with a withered hand in the synagogue. As the Pharisees watched to see if he would heal, our Lord “looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was restored” (Mark 3:5). Jesus was angry, yet never sinned (Heb. 4:15). Notice the cause, the blend of grief and anger, and the response. He was angry about their hard hearts. Sin and opposition to God’s goodness and love were the focus of Jesus’ anger. And it was rooted in sadness about their failure to see and receive God’s grace. Jesus loved and wanted to bless everyone. It’s a tragedy when anyone rejects his grace and even more troubling when they stand in the way of others receiving his blessings. Yet, in his response, Jesus didn’t lose control. He also didn’t kowtow to the Pharisees’ desires, even though it would cost him. Righteous anger can propel righteous action, like healing, speaking up for good, confronting the issue behind your anger, or finally forgiving someone.

Hurry Up and Wait

But if anger can be healthy, why does it say “and sin not” (Eph. 4:26)? Because anger often snags us and leads to sin. Scripture gives two helpful instructions about the timing of our anger. First, we must pause before reacting angrily, giving ourselves time to think and listen. “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-21). Often, our first angry instinct is to defend ourselves or attack with words. But if we take a beat — maybe a count of ten — we can often take a breath, collect our wits, and respond more productively (Eph. 4:30-32). It’s like driving at the proper following distance: it gives you room to react and avoid a nasty collision.

Our anger doesn’t come from the devil. Still, if we don’t deal with it properly (and quickly), we give Satan room to work toward his evil purposes in our lives and communities.

Yet even as we slow down at the moment, we might need to speed up our pace of resolution. We might want to avoid and ignore the problem, dragging our feet on any unpleasant confrontation. But Jesus says not to worship God angry, but to try to reconcile first (Matt. 5:22-24). And Paul says not to let our anger linger unaddressed, even for a day (Eph. 4:26). He says that if we do, we’ll give the devil a foothold (Eph. 4:27) or an opportunity. Our anger doesn’t come from the devil. Still, if we don’t deal with it properly (and quickly), we give Satan room to work toward his evil purposes in our lives and communities. Interestingly, while Paul says not to give the devil room, he uses the same Greek word to tell us to give God room to avenge us in his wrath (Rom. 12:19). We must handle swiftly what’s ours to do and leave to God what is his to do.

A Man After God’s Own Heart

It’s easy to miss that our text (Eph. 4:26-27) quotes Psalms: “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent” (Ps. 4:4). In this evening psalm, David faces his “distress” (4:1) and “shame,” and the “lies” of others (4:2). Yet in the Lord, he has found joy more incredible than any happy circumstance (4:7). He can fall asleep in peace as soon as his head lies down (4:8). What’s the secret? He trusts the Lord to vindicate him (4:3-5) and protect him (4:8). Though written many years earlier, the Psalms offer a helpful example of the kind of heart Paul describes in his pictures of the new man (Eph. 4:22-32) who walks by the Spirit (Gal. 5:16-25). David often works through his frustrations before the Lord in the Psalms rather than losing control in “fits of anger” (cf. Gal. 5:20). When the Lord is our trusted stronghold and guide, Christ’s peace rules our hearts (Col. 3:15) as we “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God” (Eph. 4:24).

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