“She is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal. 2:14).

What’s so great about marriage? I’ll fly to Oregon in a few days to marry two dear young Christians. After the ceremony, friends and family gather around them to eat, laugh, toast them, and wish them well. It’s nice to find something that is — no doubt about it — worth celebrating, and marriage is worth celebrating!

Not everyone believes in the value of this institution these days, so let’s celebrate marriage. Let’s acknowledge and work through the genuine dark, difficult problems married people face. And let’s not miss why some marriages navigate those difficulties differently than the masses, discovering new depths of connection and partnership through it all. 

FOR BETTER: Blessings of Marriage

What makes a marriage a marriage? And what’s so great about marriage anyway? Whether two Christians marry or two atheists, the essence of marriage is God’s work of creating a union.

Consider some verses that capture the heart of the issue, like Malachi’s charge: “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal. 2:14). Or Jesus citing Genesis: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:4-6).

Point #1: Marriage is when God joins two into one flesh as covenant witness.

The blessing of companionship is baked into God’s basic recipe for marriage — it was “not good” for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). Along with the friendship, partnership, and help a couple enjoys, they also experience a unique intimacy. Both emotional and physical intimacy thrive within the security and stability of the covenant. The “marriage bed” is holy (Heb. 13:4), a source of delight (Prov. 5:18-19) and fulfilling, mutual protection from temptation (1 Cor. 7:2-5).

Even a marriage of two saints is also a marriage of two sinners who will struggle with the flesh and need God’s mercy to make it.

FOR WORSE: Problems in Marriage

But it’s not all love songs and happy days. Newlyweds need to know the whole story of marriage, and we old, married folk need to bolster our readiness for the next storm, too.

Every marriage gets tested by life — finances, in-laws, children, sickness — who knows what trial lies around the corner? But the devil wants to turn those difficulties into a rocky, troubled marriage by sowing discord, doubt, selfishness, bitterness, and darkness. He’ll target your weak points, like old wounds and unhealthy patterns you picked up from your parents. And once the snake enters the garden — which he will — a marriage without Christ’s guidance and grace will struggle to survive. Even a marriage of two saints is also a marriage of two sinners who will struggle with the flesh and need God’s mercy to make it (Rom. 7:22-25). 

Point #2: Marriage TRIALS come from many places, but marriage PROBLEMS come from sin.

FOR BETTER: Blessings of a Christian Marriage

Are Christian marriages holier than others? You won’t automatically stay together and treat each other well just because you were both baptized. But if God leads your actions and attitudes, you’ll “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21). There’s a big difference between a half-hearted believer and a devoted disciple.

Christians approach marriage differently because they approach life differently, seeing everything through Christ’s lordship and love. We see each other as fellow “heirs,” children of God to treasure and respect (1 Pet. 3:7). We determine never to give up on the oneness God has made. We draw his strength to change ourselves and forgive our partner.

Christians approach marriage differently because they approach life differently, seeing everything through Christ’s lordship and love.

Our fellowship elevates our service. “How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians,” said Tertullian, “two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow … They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master.”

Point #3: Christians enjoy healthier, stronger marriages ONLY as we FOLLOW CHRIST, becoming like him through his gracious guidance.