It’s playoff season in baseball, so let me start with a baseball story — one of the wildest in the sport’s history. In 1894, the Baltimore Orioles came to Boston for a spring matchup. John McGraw got into a fight with the Boston third baseman. Benches cleared. Fans joined in. And before long, someone set the grandstands on fire. The blaze torched the ballpark and then spread to 107 buildings across Boston. Spalding’s guide recorded, “Baltimore vs. Boston—stopped by fire, third inning, 3–3.” The Boston Globe quipped, “It was a hot game.”

Maybe this is why Paul says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21). When you try to fight fire with fire, you just get more fire. That’s how Hatfields and McCoys start. That’s how the world goes blind. And that’s how minor conflicts erupt into five-alarm disasters. But God calls us to a better, kingdom way, in the ordinary moments of real spiritual warfare. So how do we keep our cool when emotions flare? Let’s look at four biblical virtues that shape a Christ-like response under pressure.

Gentleness — “Strength Under Control”

This Greek word is famously hard to translate because it carries a rich picture. BDAG describes it as “not being overly impressed with your own self-importance — gentleness, humility, courtesy.” Aristotle (not a Christian, but a helpful Greek speaker) called prautēs the balance of anger and mildness — not exploding, not cowering, but standing firm with a steady, controlled strength.

It’s the word used for a war horse — powerful, fast, courageous, but responsive to its rider. Not wild, and not weak. Strong, but submitted.

Moses grew into his gentle strength. His early anger flared uncontrollably in Egypt; later, he became so timid that he wanted to shrink back from God’s call. But in that final season of his life, God shaped him into “the meekest man on earth” (Num. 12:3) — strong, steady, and yielded.

Not wild, and not weak. Strong, but submitted.

And of course, Jesus says, “Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart” (Matt. 11:28-29). If the King of all carries himself with gentleness, so should we.

Patience — A Long Fuse

Literally “long-tempered.” BDAG describes it as “remaining tranquil while awaiting an outcome” and “bearing up under provocation.” Everyone has a fuse. Patience simply means working to lengthen it.

This is the same word — makrothumia — used constantly of God’s own patience. It’s a patience that has kept the world from destruction far longer than we deserve. His refusal to retaliate becomes the pattern for ours. Paul says Christ displayed “his perfect patience” toward him as an example (1 Tim. 1:16). If Jesus could be patient with Saul-the-persecutor, surely I can work on my fuse.

Everyone has a fuse. Patience simply means working to lengthen it.

Kindness — A Mellow Sweetness

This word carries the idea of helpfulness, generosity, and a pleasant spirit. Ancient writers even used it to describe mellow, well-aged wine — smooth, not harsh. One scholar called it “sympathetic kindliness that puts others at ease and shrinks from giving pain” (Plummer). That’s the heart behind Romans 2:4 — “God’s kindness leads you to repentance.” If his kindness melts hardened hearts, ours can soften tense moments.

Self-Control — Impulse Mastery

This is a word often used of athletes, pointing to their discipline, restraint, and mastery. Paul compares it to an Olympian training for a perishable crown (1 Cor. 9:25-27). If they discipline their impulses for a medal, surely we can discipline ours for Christ. So we look for the Spirit-led response rather than the instinctive one led by the flesh (Gal. 5:16-26).

Five Practical Strategies

1. Pause before reacting. When the adrenaline starts rising, see a yellow light and slow down. Be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). Be still and recenter, remembering who God is (Ps. 46:11).

2. Recite Scripture. Hide the word in your heart for those moments when it can keep you from sin (Ps. 119:11). Let those living, active words pierce you and protect you (Heb. 4:12).

We look for the Spirit-led response rather than the instinctive one led by the flesh.

3. Don’t Wait Too Long to Work It Out. Don’t give the devil a foothold by stewing on someone’s words or hurtful actions (Eph. 5:26-27).

4. Ask God for Help. We don’t rely only on our own ability, but on “the strength of the power of his might” (Eph. 6:10). Don’t face the spiritual battle without prayer (Eph. 6:17-18).

5. Submit to the Lord. We can fight against God or resist the devil and surrender to God, drawing near him as he draws near us (James 4:7-8). Let Christ live in you each day, your constant companion and Lord (Gal. 2:20).