“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise” (Prov. 13:20).

Watching the Olympics this week, almost every medal winner has cited the people around them as a significant factor in achieving their goals. Katie Ledecky spoke about friends who believe in them and push us in the right direction, which can make or break us. World-class athletes scrutinize every detail to perform their best, carefully selecting their partners and support group. How much more attention should we give those we run with to eternal life? “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control … to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly” (1 Cor. 9:24-26).

The “Walking with the Wise” Factor

We tend to walk like those we walk with. The Proverbs teach us to develop a tight, family-like circle (Prov. 18:24) and avoid investing in toxic relationships (Prov. 22:24-25). A strong circle of Christian friends doesn’t just bolster our strength (Eccl. 4:12); they brighten the journey. Close friends give us energy and help recharge our batteries (Eccl. 4:9-12).

We tend to walk like those we walk with.

Our shared faith is a blessing, as is our diversity (Rom. 12:6-8). Relationships with younger and older saints allow you to give and receive invaluable mentoring. Examine the priorities of those around you and the values that define the culture of your friend group. Do you draw each other closer to God? Do wisdom and righteousness define your regular conversations?

The “At All Times” Factor

We need to be able to count on friends. Without integrity, we doom our relationships to fall apart (Prov. 11:3). If we’re not trustworthy when there’s something to be kept in confidence (Prov. 11:13), who will want to open up to us? A few years back, a German company secured the Guinness Record for world’s strongest adhesive. Using just enough adhesive to cover the top of a Coke can, they held up a 17.5-ton garbage truck! Love is the superglue that binds a friendship together. Scripture explains the bond between two of history’s most famous friends — David and Jonathan — by how they loved each other. It’s no wonder they were “knit” at the soul (1 Sam. 18:1) when three times it says Jonathan “loved him as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:1, 3; 20:17). 

You need someone who knows you, who “bears all things” and “believes all things” when you’re not at your best (1 Cor. 13:7). One who embodies the proverb, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). Raymond Beran defined friends as “people with whom you dare to be yourself,” adding, “You do not have to be on your guard … Friends understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you.” Who wouldn’t want that?

A mugger’s knife and a surgeon’s scalpel can both cut you, but one wants to take from you while the other cuts to heal.

The “Faithful Wounds” Factor

I remember an old public service campaign slogan that said, “Friends, don’t let friends drive drunk.” It made a compelling point — if you care about someone, you speak up to help them make wise decisions. And shouldn’t that go beyond driving under the influence? We don’t let our friends live recklessly and drift off the narrow road (Matt. 7:13-14). Wise words are often a lifeline (Prov. 18:21). So friends don’t let friends “wander from the truth” — we try to save their “soul from death and cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).

A mugger’s knife and a surgeon’s scalpel can both cut you, but one wants to take from you while the other cuts to heal. All wounds hurt, but “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov.‬ ‭27‬:‭6‬). Friends don’t jump on every failure. But everyone needs someone who cares enough to do what’s uncomfortable, risking the relationship to help you. We can’t control each other’s actions. But we can “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15) and push one another to deeper devotion.

A foundation of trust lets us say — and hear — the hard truths. Friendship is more than getting along. When you care, you step up and stand up for your friend’s future, faith, and long-term well-being. We “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb. 10:24), challenging each other to grow in Christ. Like “iron sharpens iron” — through accountability, love, and the occasional courageous conversation — “one man sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17). Do you have the courage to say what a friend needs to hear?

Be the kind of friend you want in your life.

Make Your Friendships an Asset

As Emerson said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Friendship takes effort, but the right ones can be the difference between disastrous decisions and a good, godly life. Cautious investment in friendships with non-Christians can draw them into your circle of righteous, wise people. But that core group of godly friends must anchor you, reinforcing your faith and counteracting any negative influences that could shake your walk with God. Be the kind of friend you want in your life, and give purposeful attention to choosing and investing in Christian friendships. You won’t regret it!